Nailing the art of an R U OK? conversation in the workplace

“R U OK?” is more than four words – it is a way to reach out to someone who may be quietly fighting their own battles. What feels like a small gesture can be a gamechanger, but it only works if the conversation is approached in the right spirit. Done incorrectly, it risks seeming forced or like an invasion of privacy, especially in professional settings. 

This R U OK? day is an opportunity to learn the simple steps that make these conversations meaningful and supportive. 

Before asking: Know when to reach out 

The first step is noticing when something might be wrong. If a colleague is not behaving as they usually do, it may be time to gently check in. 

Possible signs someone may be struggling include: 

• Experiencing relationship or family issues
• Constant high stress
• Financial difficulties
• Grieving a loss
• Health problems
• Speaking irrationally or critically
• Expressing loneliness or pain
• Lacking energy
• Trouble switching off
• Losing interest in activities they once enjoyed
• Neglecting personal appearance

Preparing for the conversation 

• Not every time is the right time to ask, “are you ok?” After noticing the signs, it is important to prepare yourself. 
• Be in the right headspace – calm, patient, and ready to listen. 
• Allow enough time to talk without rushing. 
• Choose a comfortable, private moment – perhaps over lunch, while walking, or during a social catch-up.
• Remember, sharing personal struggles is not easy, so be prepared for them to share as much or as little as they want. 

How to ask, “are you ok?” 

1. Start the conversation gently 

Choose a relaxed environment. If the person is busy, find another time. A friendly, respectful approach works best. If they don’t want to talk, reassure them that you are there whenever they feel ready. 

2. Listen without judgement 

Give them space to talk. Avoid interrupting. Encourage them to share more and show that you value what they are saying. 

3. Encourage action 

Suggest small steps that may help, such as walking, exercising, or taking a break. If appropriate, gently encourage them to seek professional support. Show empathy and remind them that things can improve with time and the right help. If they have struggled before, ask what worked for them in the past. 

4. Check in again 

A single conversation is not enough. Follow up later to see how they are going. Staying in touch shows your concern was genuine, not a one-off gesture. 

If someone is at immediate risk, call 000 (Australia only). If the conversation feels too difficult, provide them with professional support contacts such as Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). 

How the Victorian Chamber can help 

Creating a mentally healthy workplace is everyone’s responsibility. Yet not everyone feels equipped to have these conversations. That’s why the Victorian Chamber offers a range of training and workshops on mental health first aid, workplace wellbeing, occupational health and safety, and more. 

These programs can empower leaders and employees to protect mental wellbeing and build a safer, more supportive workplace. 

For further support, the Victorian Chamber’s Workplace Relations Advice Line can provide guidance on best practice approaches. Call today on 03 8662 5222.